No matter how perfect your relationship felt at the start, it’s going to take work to build a successful and long term marriage.
Granted, some people might have a slight advantage because of their upbringing. Mostly, though, marriages are just tough work.
Plenty of couples face obstacles. Sometimes, these hurdles are easy to overcome, and other times, they stall your relationship. To move past problems, it’s crucial to know when you need a helping hand from a professional.
How to Know It’s Time for Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling often carries a “last resort” reputation. Also, despite it offering numerous benefits, many people assume it’s strictly for couples dealing with infidelity. But marriage counseling can also help with everyday marital issues. Following are a few telltale signs that it’s time to visit a marriage counselor.
When One of You Withholds Affection
Sharing daily moments of intimacy—hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc.—is healthy and natural in a marriage. When one of you withholds affection because of a rift in the relationship, it creates negative barriers.
Marriage counseling can help you find healthy ways for you to express yourself aside from emotionally starving your spouse.
When You Live Separate Lives
It’s uncommon for married couples to have the same schedule. After all, careers, family responsibilities, and individual endeavors pull partners in different directions. Sometimes, this continual pull creates two separate lives from one union.
While it’s good to have your own goals and hobbies, feeling worlds apart isn’t healthy within a marriage. Marriage counseling can help you find balance in your life together.
When You Have Recurring Arguments
Certain subjects tend to cause the same argue time and time again. Finances, domestic chores, children, in-laws are a few topics that come to mind. When you and your spouse fight the same fight, it usually takes the fresh perspective of a third party to move past that particular conflict finally.
When Communication Stops
It’s common for recurring arguments to shut down all lines of communication eventually. Or, you and your spouse may gradually stop talking with each other.
Whether it’s what you ate for lunch or how much you appreciate them, partners need to talk with each other.
When a significant communication barrier exists, it’s time to visit a marriage counselor to help you reconnect. Amid a heated battle, it’s tough to remember that you wear the same colors. Marriage partners are teammates, but sometimes it might feel as though your spouse is your enemy.
If your marriage has reached a point where you and your spouse behave more like adversaries, contact a marriage counselor.
When Your Sex Life Shifts Significantly
As mentioned, intimacy plays a vital part in a healthy marriage. Although sex is only one expression of intimacy, it’s a significant one. When your sex life takes a hit, your marriage typically reflects it.
Various factors can cause sexual issues in a marriage. It’s essential to pinpoint what’s genuinely going on in your relationship before assuming the worst.
Marriage counseling provides a safe space to share your sex-related concerns and ideas with your partner.
When Financial Secrets Exist
Some toss financial secrets into the same pool of deceit as infidelity. How this dishonesty should be ranked, though, is far less critical a problem than the fact that it exists.
When one of you withholds financial information from the other, there’s a deeper problem needing to be addressed. A marriage counselor can help you to sort out issues surrounding money.
When One of You Is Unfaithful
Unfaithfulness means different things to different people. To some, it equates to your partner having unapproved sex with another person. Others attribute unfaithfulness to being close friends with someone of the opposite sex.
How you define it is between you and your spouse. But when the bond of trust is broken, fixing it requires mounds of hard emotional work.
Marriage counseling can help you navigate the murky water of unfaithfulness and support you as you rebuild trust in your relationship.
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